Fools for a Fool
by Keki-chan
Summary: "Lavi, has Allen... Ever truly laughed?" When Lavi and Lenalee came across the realization that their moyashi tends to prefer a small smile, they get all of Allen's friends -and Kanda- on board to hopefully accomplish one of their most difficult missions yet. The mission, you ask? Well, to make our not-so-little-anymore silver-haired exorcist literally 'ROFL'. Under a new pen name


**A/N:** Why, hello thaaaarrrr~! I'm glad you decided to click on that link that led you to this (insert your opinion of this fic here) page! I wrote this chapter several days ago, when I realized that Allen never _truly_ laughs. I mean, he'll chuckle out of nervousness or cackle at the thought of his opponent's demise (more like at watching people lose everything they own to someone who cheats at poker), but I've never seen him do something that I see everyone doing all the time! ...Well, he did giggle once in the D Gray Man Special CD... (IT WAS SO CUTE~! ...Uh... I didn't say that) However, he was intoxicated (I don't know if I can call it "drunk" since they CLAIM that it's not alcohol), so it DOES NOT COUNT! ...By the way, you should take all of this talk about the D Gray Man Sousha no Shikaku, Special CD, Kuro no Bansankai as a clue to go look it up on youtube *cough*... It's funny~! The Japanese voice actors of Allen, Kanda, Lavi, and Komui get together to create another one of Komui's insane sis-con moments, with some added info about Allen and wine-filled candies...

Before you guys get started, as it will say later on in this chapter, this takes place after the current events, where I made Allen return to the Order and maintain a very strained trust with the higher-ups of the Order. So, as you could imagine, he isn't exactly in a "good mood".

**Summary:** "Lavi, has Allen... Ever truly laughed?" When Lavi and Lenalee came across the realization that their moyashi tends to prefer a small smile, they get all of Allen's friends (and Kanda) on board to hopefully accomplish one of their most difficult missions yet. The mission, you ask? Well, to make our not-so-little-anymore silver-haired exorcist literally 'ROFL'.

**Warnings:** Depending on the methods they use, there are different warnings for each chapter. For this one, no warnings are needed. C: It's the calm before the storm, as some would say. xD However, as far as the fic in general goes, it's mostly going to be humor, except for occasional Allen-angst to make everything more dramatic... C:

**Disclaimer:** I'd rather leave all the tedious drawing, huge amount of responsibility, and evil plot bunnies (I have enough of my own) that come with D Gray Man to Hoshino-sensei, which is why I'm glad that I don't have to worry about all of that since I'm not the person that owns D Gray Man! ;D

* * *

The female exorcist turned from the coffee machine she was currently using, only to see her easily-excited red-headed friend.

The bookman's apprentice had a bounce in his step as he continued to waltz over to Lenalee, not even bothering to try to disguise the mischievous look in his eyes.

Lenalee sighed, _Uh-oh… I'd better prepare myself…_

"What is it, Lavi?"

"Okay, so... I was in the cafeteria with Allen, Krory, Miranda, and Kanda, eating lunch. Speaking of lunch, it was really good! The Yakiniku was absolutely delicious~! It tasted as if it was made from the best-"

"Lavi!" Lenalee interrupted, knowing that if the red-head was steered off track, she would have to listen to at least twice the rambling.

"Oh, right. So, I heard this hilarious joke from one of the finders the other day, and I thought that I'd share it with everyone at the table,"

"Mhm…" The female responded, letting Lavi know that even though she was making coffee, she would still pay attention. Somewhat.

"And when I told the punch line, everyone but Allen thought it was funny!" The red-head stared at the girl in exasperation, hoping to get some kind of sympathy.

"Maybe it wasn't very funny…?"

"But it was funny!" The bookman whined, "Even Kanda chuckled!"

At this, the dark-haired girl was somewhat surprised. She hadn't been able to make Kanda laugh since she first met him; as was the same result for everyone else. Except for Lavi, apparently.

"Anyway, all Allen did was smile; not even chuckle like what Kanda did! I even asked him if he thought the joke was funny after lunch, and he said that it was!"

"I can't imagine Kanda chuckling at something that you said…" Lenalee pondered as she poured sugar into the pink rabbit cup that her brother owned.

"That isn't the point! I swear, Allen never laughs at anything! He's such a kill-joy sometimes…"

"Not everyone has enough energy to keep up with you. I can see why they call you usagi," Lenalee giggled politely, covering her smile with her free hand as the other stirred the sugar and cream in Johnny's coffee cup.

"Not you too!" He complained, shoulders slouching in despair at the fact that his nickname had even started spreading to Lenalee.

"I'm starting to know how Allen feels with his nickname…" Lavi grumbled, feeling a bit of sympathy for the moyashi, "Heh, at least mine hasn't spread all the way across the Order," he said as his hand reached up to his neck so he could rub it nervously.

"Lavi," Lenalee giggled, "You do notice that Allen really isn't that little, don't you? He's actually a lot taller than many people now…"

The red-head looked at her, a huge smile across his face, "Yeah, but he hates that nickname so much, it's fun to see his reaction. He just gets so mad whenever we call him a moyashi~!"

Lenalee shrugged, picking up the tray of filled coffee cups to take them back to the science section, "So you wouldn't mind if everyone called you usagi continuously, even though really the only reason that people call you that is because you're always hyper?"

"O-Of course I would mind!" He started, surprised by how the girl was able to point out his own flaws in logic, "I-It's just that Allen's way more fun to tease, which is why everyone calls him a moyashi! In fact, it's one of the few ways to get him angry, instead of always being so cheery… Plus, I'm not even that hyper!"

She giggled, walking through the doorway, "Okay then, usagi, can you please help me hand all of these coffee cups out to everyone in the science section?"

"Yeah, yeah…" Lavi groaned, hopping over to Lenalee so he could take a few of the cups of the tray so it would be lighter for the girl.

* * *

The two exorcists were walking down the silent hallways, returning to the coffee room so that they could return the tray. Both were silent, their minds clearly in their own worlds.

"Lavi…" Lenalee broke the silence, a hint of careful concern within her voice as she spoke, "can you remember one time where Allen has laughed?"

Both of the exorcists pondered the dark-haired girl's question, trying to think of one instance in which their white-haired friend even giggled.

"Well…" Lavi started, "he usually laughs whenever he plays poker… Then again, that laugh is pretty scary, so I don't know if it counts…"

At the memory of 'Black Allen', both of the exorcists shivered, grateful that they have him on their side whenever it comes to gambling.

"Has Allen ever truly laughed?" Lavi questioned, unable to think of an instance in which Allen didn't laugh from embarrassment or gambling.

"I don't think so… It's always just that smile," Lenalee looked toward the ground, remembering how she yelled at her friend because of that very action. Despite her scolding, he continued to use the same mask to hide his true thoughts.

"…Why can't Allen laugh…?"

Lavi looked over to the female exorcist, concern in his eyes as he watched her own take on a worried look. The rabbit suddenly perked up, setting one of his hands on the girl's slim shoulder.

"I'm sure Allen can laugh, he just hasn't had a good enough reason to yet!"

Lenalee looked up at her friend, smiling at his confidence.

"So, I'll take that as a yes!" He said excitedly, bouncing on ahead of the girl.

The dark-haired exorcist's eyes widened with confusion, wondering what the heck she just agreed to. "Y-yes to what, Lavi!"

"You're going to help me get Allen to laugh!" She saw that his grin was ear-to-ear as he turned around and continued to walk backwards, watching her eagerly to see if she would join him on his mission.

Lenalee sighed, knowing that agreeing to her friend's childish games would only end up getting her into a huge mess. However, if only for Allen, she would sacrifice her sanity and join her red-headed rabbit friend in his journey to make their comrade laugh.

"…Fine…"

Lavi jumped up, ecstatic by the prospect of a friend that would join him in his senseless meddling. "Okay! I'll see if I can get more people. We'll have a secret meeting tomorrow morning, when Allen usually eats breakfast"

The red-head continued at an almost inhuman speed, relaying plans for what will now be an "organization" for the specific purpose of making Allen laugh, dubbed "The Fools for a Fool Organization" or, "The FFO". Lavi apparently thought it was clever, since Allen is a clown, otherwise known as a "fool". Since it takes a clown to make some people laugh, (Or run away screaming, as Lenalee pointed out…) he thought it would be appropriate if everyone involved was called a fool. Lenalee was barely able to memorize the location, time, and date of the next few meetings, as her friend seemed to have forgotten that not everyone is a bookman.

"So! Need me to repeat anything else?" Lavi asked excitedly, clearly hyped up by his own 'ingenious' plan.

"Uh… No, I've got it… I think…?" She questioned, looking at the red-head as if he had sprouted a third ear.

"Okay! Well; I need to get everyone together so that they can join our mission! Later~!" He exclaimed, turning and running in the opposite direction energetically and almost crashing into one of the poor finders that was rounding a corner.

Lenalee giggled as she watched Lavi quickly apologize, patting the unsuspecting finder on the head as he already began to run off erratically in the direction that held whatever or whoever he was trying to get to.

She sighed after his shape faded as he ran further away, "And now I'm left alone to give everyone else their coffee…"

_I just really hope that Lavi's plan works,_ The female exorcist thought as she continued her walk back to the coffee room.

_Allen really does need to laugh sometimes._

* * *

Lenalee could only stare at the refined conference room, looking far too official to be used by a group of people trying to accomplish such a trivial matter as trying to make their friend laugh.

"Erm… Lavi, is all this really necessary…?" she questioned, looking back at the bookman's apprentice standing directly behind her.

"Of course!" he started, his eyes still retaining the same mischievously excited glow as the day before, "We must use all of our resources to make our moyashi laugh!"

Lenalee giggled at the authority and determination her usually carefree friend's expression took on, surprised by how their small plan to get Allen to laugh had turned into such a large mission.

"So… Who has agreed to help us so far?" She questioned curiously, wondering who would be willing enough to help them with Lavi leading the group.

Lenalee stared in amazement as Lavi listed off the amount of people that said they were willing to help, "So far, Johnny, Link, Kuro-chan, Miranda, and Yuu have agreed to help full-time, while Komui, Reever, Jerry, Timothy, Chaoji, Marie, and the entire second squad of finders said that they could help whenever extra assistance is necessary. Everyone listed will appear at a majority of the meetings."

"Wow…" She breathed, clearly surprised at the long list of people that truly wanted to help their friend, "Wait, how did you get Kanda to agree to this!"

Lavi chuckled at the girl's confused expression, rubbing the back of his neck nervously, "Well, it took quite a bit of bribing, but once I came up with the right bait, he agreed to it immediately…"

Lenalee raised an eyebrow, doubting that the red-head could think of a bribe so enticing that even Kanda would agree to, "And the bribe was…?"

The rabbit slouched in despair when he thought of his agreement with the dark-haired samurai, "I have to buy his soba whenever we go on missions for two years…"

The girl burst out laughing, clutching her stomach at the misfortune of her friend.

"I-It's not funny!" Lavi exclaimed, betrayed by his friend's lack of sympathy, "Soba costs a lot of money, you know! Especially the kinds he likes! Can you imagine what's going to happen to the little amount of money that I have! I won't have any left by the time that guy eats as much as he likes! Have you ever seen Kanda actually full! I don't think he _has_ a soba-eating limit! He's like Allen with that stuff!"

Lenalee continued to giggle, trying to cover it up with a hand over her mouth and a discreet "cough" every few seconds.

"U-Umm… Excuse me, Lavi and Lenalee…"

The two turned to the entrance of the room, only to see Miranda fidgeting nervously in the doorway, "T-The meeting is being held here, right? I'm afraid that I may have forgotten if it was this one or another…"

Lavi hopped over to the shy exorcist, placing a hand on her shoulder while guiding the woman over to one of the many seats surrounding the large conference room; chatting with her the whole time to reassure the uncertain exorcist that she was in fact, in the correct place.

Lenalee watched in admiration as many of Allen's closest friends walked through the door, each one with an air of excitement clinging to them. It had never occurred to her just how many friends the young exorcist made since he first joined the Order three years ago.

_All of these people care so much about Allen…_ She thought happily, smiling from ear-to-ear at the large group that decided to join together to accomplish such a petty task as making their friend truly laugh.

"Okay, everyone!" Lavi yelled over the noisy chatter of everyone in the room, capturing each person's attention as they looked to the red-head standing at the front of the room, "As you all know, each person sitting in this room has pledged to join the mission to make our beansprout laugh!"

Several people nodded, and a few even cheered. A smirk was written across Kanda's face, while even the oh-so-serious Marie was wearing a cheerful smile.

Lavi's Cheshire grin grew along with the impish look in his eyes when he continued, "Feel free to add in comments and suggestions when asked for them, and with that said, here's the plan…"

* * *

"Eh?" Allen blinked in confusion, "Where is everybody this morning?"

As the silver-haired teen looked around the large dining room, he noticed that several normally over-filled tables were empty. He would usually sit at a table that was close to where Jerry cooked (So he wouldn't have to walk very far when he was carrying his mounds of food to a table), but those normally crowded seats were sitting unfilled by his friends.

"Did I wake up late again…?" He mumbled as he walked through the slim aisle, checking the large clock mounted on one of the great walls.

"It's only nine… Maybe there was a meeting held that I wasn't notified of," the exorcist continued, perplexed by the lack of an appearance from his friends, who he had gotten used to being able to speak almost freely with.

Allen looked down to his stomach, which was making deafening growling noises that could be heard from across the room, "Ehhhhh… I'm so hungry though…"

He rubbed his stomach, wishing that it would, for once, not demand such an absurd amount of food.

"Link, do you think I should find out if there was a meeting, or eat first?" The teen turned around, expecting the man to say something responsible in reply. Instead, the exorcist was met with silence, an empty space where Link would normally stand.

Allen looked around frantically, wondering if he walked too far ahead of his supervisor for him to keep up. The silver-haired teen was never one to wake up quickly, so it was usually the food that did it for him. It was very rare that he would walk through the halls after sleeping with a clear mind, and he usually ended up not remembering how he reached the dining hall in the morning.

"Fine then," He pouted, vaguely disappointed by the way everyone suddenly ditched him, "I guess I'll just eat first."

As he sauntered over to where Jerry would be waiting, Allen couldn't help but wonder if the reason for his friends' ditching him was because of his being a Noah. When he fled from the Order and was deemed an enemy, most of the people that once supported him turned against the teen, acting as if they were enemies all along. He later returned, barely convincing the higher-ups that he was the one in control and not the Noah inside of him, but that idea wasn't exactly widely-accepted among those working for the Order, especially the people he never had the chance to meet. He thought that everyone he developed close relationships with before had regained at least a small amount of trust in him, but he could always sense a certain tension whenever they spoke to him that wasn't present before his 'betrayal'.

"…So they decided to leave me…?" Allen questioned, feeling his appetite slowly ebb at the thought of losing all of his friends for the second time.

"What is it that you would like to order, sir?"

The teen looked up to see that he had reached the kitchen while he was pondering his friends' reason for leaving him. The smells drifting from the kitchen were enough to restore his appetite, and Allen was practically drooling at the sight of the freshly-cooked waffles sitting inside the kitchen, in full view of anyone crossing.

The man coughed, startling Allen from his food-worshipping thoughts, "Ah?"

The silver-haired exorcist tore his eyes from the waffles to see the man that was speaking to him. He was a tall and slim, looking to be in his early twenties. His chocolate-brown hair was shoulder-length, but despite the weight it must have carried, the deep brown was still able to retain some amount of unruliness, the shorter parts slightly spiky. His bright blue eyes shone, clearly interested in the figure standing before him. The man looked like he should be a member of a popular band or the DJ of a relatively high-class club- not cooking for the members of the Order.

"Ehh? You're not Jerry…?" The teen then rubbed his eyes as he wondered if he was either too stupefied by the waffles to see correctly, or still groggy from sleep.

"That's right, I'm Vincent," the man replied as Allen's vision cleared, "I'll be cooking breakfast for a few mornings as a temporary substitute for Jerry"

Allen clapped once, a smile growing on his face as he politely greeted the man, "Well, it is very nice to meet you, and welcome to the Order," the teen then continued, tilting his head to the side slightly in a questioning manner, "If you don't mind me asking, where will Jerry be for the mornings of which you will be his proxy?"

"Um…" The man started, staggered by the teen's sudden change in informal to formal behavior, "He's away on some business right now, but he'll be back in time for lunch… He told me that he may end up having this same schedule for a few days."

Allen smiled respectfully and held out his right hand, unnerving the man that was unfamiliar with his kind of graciousness, especially from someone of the teen's age. As the new chef took it nervously, the silver-haired exorcist continued, "All right then, Vincent! I will be eagerly awaiting your appearance for the mornings of which Jerry is not in attendance!"

"Uh… Yeah…" The new chef replied, uncertain of what to say in reply, "So… What is it that you'd like to eat?"

"Hmm…" Allen began as he released the man from the handshake to set a gloved finger to his chin, thinking of the mountains of food that he would like to eat, "I would like seven waffles, six pancakes, a chocolate chip muffin, a bowl of cereal, four eggs, six slices of bacon, five sausages, two slices of toast, an egg sandwich, eggs Benedict, a strawberry, kiwi, and banana smoothie, a mango smoothie, grapefruit, orange juice, a bowl of chocolate chip oatmeal, a cinnamon roll, two slices of cinnamon raisin bread, and two dozen doughnuts!"

All that the new chef could do was stare at the slim figure standing before him, unable to believe that such a young teen could each so much.

"Is something wrong?" Allen questioned, smiling at the man with an unfazed expression, as if that kind of giant order was usual.

"C-" The chef started, unable to believe that he just heard all of that from this teen, "C-Can you really eat all of that?"

A certain flash of realization came across the exorcist's face, "Ah, I am sorry. My name is Allen Walker. I cannot believe that I overlooked my own introduction," the teen face-palmed while the chef just stood in place with a confused expression, unknowing of why his name was of such importance.

"Anyway, my parasitic Innocence requires me to eat far more than the average person, since it uses my body's energy…" Allen explained, having said the same thing to Jerry after the man grew curious as to why the teen would eat so much soon after the teen first joined the Order.

"Umm… Do you mind if I see it?" Vincent questioned, having never seen an anti-akuma weapon before. When he first arrived, one of the finders was charged with the task of explaining the current situation, and what the organization and people working for it did. However, the teen was the first exorcist to approach him, and he was interested in the weapons that had the potential to save the world.

The man watched as Allen subconsciously hid his left arm from view behind his back, as if he was afraid of anyone seeing it.

"It, um…" The chef then looked up to see the teen blushing, looking from the man's eyes and downward towards his own left arm, "It doesn't exactly look pretty…" He continued nervously, "In fact, you might actually be scared away by it…"

Surprise was written on the man's face at the exorcist's unwillingness to show his left arm. The teen had seemed very open before he asked to see the limb, introducing himself in a friendly manner and explaining why he ate so much. He had thought that anyone with that kind of power would be boasting about it whether he asked or not, but this teen was doing the exact opposite of that. Instead of proudly showing off his weapon, he was hiding it; too untrusting of people to let them see.

"Oh, okay… You don't have to show it to me if you don't want to, I'm just a bit too curious for my own good," The man replied awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck.

The teen's blush faded away to be replaced by the same polite smile that was pasted on his face earlier, "Thank you then, Vincent-san. I would have shown it to you, I was just unsure of how you would react to it…"

The chef nodded, chuckling, "Well then, I guess I'll get started on your order"

As he walked to the back of the kitchen to tell his assistants what Allen ordered, the new chef realized that he was beginning to like the teen. His image of an overly-cocky, overly-confident super hero was proven completely off-beam by the silver-haired exorcist, who was both shockingly friendly and polite, even when explaining his insecurities. The teen looked rather naïve, though just by speaking to the young exorcist, one could tell that he had an older feeling to him; as if his body stopped aging forty years ago while his mind continued to mature. His silver hair only added to the mysterious aura around him, while the warped purple-blue scar carved into the left side of his face made the humble exorcist appear frightening, despite his kind demeanor.

_Not to mention those eyes of his…_ Vincent thought, remembering what he saw when he looked into Allen's silver orbs. _They seemed haunted, especially when he was talking about his left arm… _

_What has that kid been forced to go through?_

* * *

**A/N:**

So it's kinda a slow start, but it'll get better when the characters begin the chaos. Meaning from next chapter on... Also, I'll occasionally switch back to Allen's point of view just to show you guys how desperate he's feeling (Muahahahaha), but most of this will be in Lavi's, Lenalee's, Kanda's, or any other side-character's point of view.

Also, if you have any ideas that you think would be funny(/insane/stupidly amusing) for the characters (I mean _any_ character; I can make it work C:) to use to make Allen laugh, feel free to suggest them~! ^w^

**Reviews are appreciated, and flames will be used to light the fireworks I have sitting in my garage.**


End file.
